Updated: Apr 5, 2019
I hear all the time about people turning away from family members and friends. Kick them to the curb is a phrase that I hear a lot. It seems that instead of forgiving and working on a relationship, the new trend is to take our hurt feelings and leave the relationship.
I’m not judging you, I know it isn't an easy decision and I know you feel completely justified in doing it, but, I would like to offer a different solution to resolving family conflict, and inner conflict, it's an solution that has has nothing to do with giving up. (I'm not talking about abusive relationships, that's entirely different and you should never stay in a dangerous situation)
The solution is to forgive! I know, I know, I can hear some of you saying there is just no way you could ever forgive those that hurt you, that I just don’t understand, your situation is different or you’ve tried everything and nothing worked.
You're right, I don’t know your situation, but I want you to know that I do understand, and I know that’s its not always easy, but I also know that in my life, choosing to forgive has always been worth it.
***Forgiveness has very little to do with the other person and everything to do with you. It has nothing to do with “kicking people to the curb” and everything to do with finding peace, and showing mercy and giving grace.
***Forgiving others gives you peace and allows you to move on from the hurt in your life.
***When you hang on to unforgiveness your whole health suffers. You are prone to anxiety, anger and depression. Your focus is so much on the person and situation that hurt you, that you’re not present with the people and relationships in your life now, so, they suffer from your unforgiveness as well
*** When you forgive, you no longer live in the pain of your past, you are able to move from a victim mentality to a victor mentality, which helps you to have healthy relationships with those in your life and to be more compassionate, caring and understanding toward others.
***As I said in day 3, forgiveness doesn’t require a confrontation with those that hurt you. Here are some steps to forgiveness;
-Get quiet before God and ask for a forgiving heart. -Ask for help in forgiving those that hurt you. -While you are forgiving, more things and situations may come up for you. As hard as it may be at the time, forgive each area. -Ask that if it’s at all possible, to be able to establish a new, healthy relationship with that person.
*** When you have taken the steps to forgive someone, it’s time to let it go. Mentally take that hurt, put it in a pretty box, and bury it. It has no power over you anymore.